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Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
My Friends at Work Having Fun with Me
Ugandan authorities release American jailed for espionage
BBC News Updated every minute of every day
News Front Page
Africa
Page last updated at 15:17 GMT, Monday, 26 May 2008
BBC News Updated every minute of every day 
News Front Page
Africa
Page last updated at 15:17 GMT, Monday, 26 May 2008
By Jeff H. Merlot (Rome, GA field reporter and food critic)
A US citizen from Cartersville, Georgia was released last night by government authorities in Uganda. Doug Mancosky’s harrowing experience began shortly after his arrival at the Kampala airport. During a routine luggage search, drawings and plans for a “Shock Wave Power” reactor were discovered. Lord's Resistance Army rebel leaders, claimed that the SPR was a weapon of mass destruction and hauled Mancosky before the Ugandan High Court. Media reports in Uganda say Justice Akiiki Kiiza, assisted by Eldad Mwangusya and Lady Justice Ibanda Nahamya, who served at Sierra Leone's UN-backed war crimes court asked but one question. “Could the SPR be used as a weapon of mass destruction?” Mr. Mancosky reportedly replied; “That depends….” And was immediately beaten and jailed.
In an unprecedented action, The High Court sentenced Mr. Mancosky to death by cavitation. While awaiting his appointment with destiny, the resourceful American, with his hands bound behind his back, managed to free his left thumb and used his Blackjack phone to file a provisional patent for the use of the SPR as a means of execution and torture of research scientists. Mancosky then fashioned a prison key from a bar of Laffy Taffy, used it to release over a dozen prisoners and had just finished training them as Lightnin reps, when government officials arrived. Furious rebel leader Joseph Kony, despite his reputation for anarchy, lawlessness and ruthless atrocities, knew better than to violate a provisional patent and released the McGuiver-like Mancosky.
Kony had a further setback later that afternoon when upon returning to the Presidential palace, found it occupied by Mr. Kelly Hudson. Hudson, flush with cash from the recent sale of his company Hydro Dynamics to M&M Mars, decided to use the proceeds to buy the nation itself.
“When I was growing up as a boy in rural North Georgia, many of my friends longed to play centerfield in the big leagues or become an astronaut, but it has always been my dream to own an impoverished, corruption ridden, third world African nation on the verge of civil war” said Mr. Hudson. When asked if he was prepared for the bloodshed, back-stabbing, and political intrigue inherent with the position, Hudson’s response was “Yes, it reminds me of the carpet industry.”
A US citizen from Cartersville, Georgia was released last night by government authorities in Uganda. Doug Mancosky’s harrowing experience began shortly after his arrival at the Kampala airport. During a routine luggage search, drawings and plans for a “Shock Wave Power” reactor were discovered. Lord's Resistance Army rebel leaders, claimed that the SPR was a weapon of mass destruction and hauled Mancosky before the Ugandan High Court. Media reports in Uganda say Justice Akiiki Kiiza, assisted by Eldad Mwangusya and Lady Justice Ibanda Nahamya, who served at Sierra Leone's UN-backed war crimes court asked but one question. “Could the SPR be used as a weapon of mass destruction?” Mr. Mancosky reportedly replied; “That depends….” And was immediately beaten and jailed.
In an unprecedented action, The High Court sentenced Mr. Mancosky to death by cavitation. While awaiting his appointment with destiny, the resourceful American, with his hands bound behind his back, managed to free his left thumb and used his Blackjack phone to file a provisional patent for the use of the SPR as a means of execution and torture of research scientists. Mancosky then fashioned a prison key from a bar of Laffy Taffy, used it to release over a dozen prisoners and had just finished training them as Lightnin reps, when government officials arrived. Furious rebel leader Joseph Kony, despite his reputation for anarchy, lawlessness and ruthless atrocities, knew better than to violate a provisional patent and released the McGuiver-like Mancosky.Kony had a further setback later that afternoon when upon returning to the Presidential palace, found it occupied by Mr. Kelly Hudson. Hudson, flush with cash from the recent sale of his company Hydro Dynamics to M&M Mars, decided to use the proceeds to buy the nation itself.
“When I was growing up as a boy in rural North Georgia, many of my friends longed to play centerfield in the big leagues or become an astronaut, but it has always been my dream to own an impoverished, corruption ridden, third world African nation on the verge of civil war” said Mr. Hudson. When asked if he was prepared for the bloodshed, back-stabbing, and political intrigue inherent with the position, Hudson’s response was “Yes, it reminds me of the carpet industry.”
In a related note, the Wall Street Journal reported that a long lost Hydro Partner was given the war-torn Darfur region of the Sudan, as a finder’s fee.
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